A Really Hard Week

like the title says it has been a really hard week for me
i'm surprised i was able to make it this far
maybe i am stronger than i think , i'm getting stronger
not a day goes by where i don't think of him
he's the first and last thought in my day, pray for him always
you never realize what you have until its really gone
gone out of your life... completely
but all i can do now is to reminisce about everthing
not the bad, all my thoughts are of all the good times

i just miss being able to text some and call that one person
... just cause you can, & know someone out there cares for you
yeah i can text any one of my friends, but its not the same
i miss someone giving me attention, and me giving them attention
every little thing reminds me of him and it sucks kind of
but at least i'll never really EVER forget
as much as it sucks right now, i have to be strong
all my loved ones tell me, "you can do so much better than him"
it's not that i can't , its just that:

THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS

it's really as simple as that.



friday spent the day at school and afternoon with lizette
more venting and stogie time with our favorite person haha
ate some pinkberry , the mangoes were extra sweet (:
ended up packing my stuff and driving to moreno valley
it's my home away from home, my safe haven
was supposed to hookah , but as always , our plans never go through
it's alright though, aldrich and i plan on going to tyler mall tmrw
currently sitting on ate's bed and she is sleeping next to me now
aldrich is downstairs playing a video game on his ps3
i shouuuuuld be sleeping , but i don't feel that tired
just emotionally and physically tired, oh well
something good needs to happen soon lol, i'm learning to be patient

i was listening to this song called "chasing pavements" by adele
i never really understood what the song meant until i really listened

"I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over,
If I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
I know this is love but,

If I tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And that's exactly what I need to do,
If I'm in love with you,

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere"


i think its time for a vacation, looks so calm and relaxing